What To Say
by A.E. Mac
Summary: Hermione left after what happened in her sixth year at Hogwarts, she was determined to have the normal summer she deserved. But when the summer is over and she finds herself back at the Burrow what will happen when any day could be your last and you have
1. Chapter 1

A week before school started again, and I was desperate for a relief. It seemed as if the summer just past by, and not slowly, no, summer was doing eighty-five in a sixty-five area. And this summer was special, or at least it was supposed to be. I had everything planned, written neatly out on a clean napkin from the local coffee shop.

_Hermione's List of Things to Do This Summer_

_01. Read at least four books (check.)_

_02. Go to the beach and swim in the ocean (almost.)_

_03. Find someone non-magic to become friends with (not even close.)_

_04. Get invited to the Burrow (check, going in two days.)_

_05. Do something about him (I wish.)_

Now, in the beginning of the summer I was optimistic, hoping to forget everything that had happened the last school year, all the pain and the suffering we had gone through. The loss that filled my thoughts for weeks after. I was determined to become normal for one summer, I was ready to become the person I would have become if I had not become friends with the boy-who-lived and the red-head with a temper. But it was impossible, it was impossible to become normal, when I was so abnormal.

I had gotten the letter from Ron (the red-head) about a week before. It was short and sweet, nothing too elaborate about the happenings in the world that I had forced myself to forget for that summer. It was cheerful, at least that's what it seemed to be:

_Dear Hermione,_

_Mum said of course you can come to the Burrow. I think she was a little upset that you were not going to come here straight after school, but she said you can come all the same. Harry's already over here, has been since the beginning (but you already know all this). We will be sure to catch you up when you get here. Hope to see you soon!_

_-Ron_

When I received it I couldn't help but smile. _That is where I am meant to be_. And soon after I was ripping up my list of things to do and began packing for trip, my last trip from home.

I met Ron at the station. He was wearing the same lop-sided smile that he was known for, the same smile that I would always remember him for. He gave me a quick hug when we met and brought me over to his parents.

"Hi Mrs. Weasley," I said. Words weren't even spoken on her behalf before she scooped me up into a hug and began crying into my shoulder.

"Oh dear, I was so worried about you, now with the you-know-who at large again and you being friends with Harry and Ron, I was sure he would --- he would," But she couldn't bring herself to say it, she just continued to cry and I didn't know what to say, so I just awkwardly patted her back.

I could see Ron behind the crowd, looking at his feet, twisting his shirt, looking just about everywhere than to his mother and me, I knew he was expecting this and was desperately trying not to burst out laughing.

After Mrs. Weasley let me go, I gave Mr. Weasley a quicker hug and walked by his side to the car. Ron had already started there and he met us inside where he smiled again, but didn't say a word.

The ride was awkward and silent. I couldn't bring myself to ask what had happened since my absence from the wizarding world. I was worried at what would be told to me, the deaths that were going to be unveiled. Ron looked out the window, watching the blurred colors of the trees below us. He rested his head on his hand, and I noticed a small scar under his chin. I reached my hand out and traced it with my fingers. He turned his head and took my hand and just frowned, "We have a lot to talk about," he said. I just nodded, but the question I kept asking was, _am I ready?_


	2. Chapter 2

We arrived at the Burrow around one o'clock in the afternoon. I was wishing we had arrived earlier, maybe I would be able to compose myself before being pushed back into the life that had been pushed into the back of my mind for two months.

I saw Ginny outside sitting below a rather large willow tree. She was reading a small paper-back book, the title was unknown to me, but the content seemed to amuse her as she smiled and turned the page. Mrs. Weasley put a hand to her chest, probably thanking God that she did not come home to find her home destroyed and everyone she loved killed inside.

Ron let go of my hand and scratched his arm, he looked at me and smiled for what seemed the hundredth time that day, and inside I was wondering if he was smiling just for me, prepping me for what I was about to hear, the newspaper clippings I was about to read. He pushed open the car door as it came to a holt in front of a slopping fence. Leaves had already began to fall from the tall trees in the backyard and I could see the hills that were covered in the red and orange in the distance.

I opened my door and instantly felt at home. I could see that Ginny had stopped reading, she was standing and fixing her skirt. Her hair was put in braided ponytails and she looked the epitome of a country girl. She noticed me looking at her and waved, but unlike her brother she did not smile, it was as if my presence was an inconvenience for her, as if she couldn't bare to see more people she loved.

Ron called my name and I turned my head in response, he was standing behind the car fumbling with my luggage. "Can you help me please?"

His voice was not sharp as I expected it, he did not yell. I walked toward him and watched as one of my many bags filled with books fell from his grasp. He grunted in response and bent down to pick it up again, but I met him there and picked it up myself. "Thanks," and with that he turned away and walked to the front door, leaving me there, alone.

I grabbed the rest of my bags, which weren't many, three maybe four. I walked into the sunlit living room and closed my eyes, taking in the smells and the sounds that had gone missing over the two months of the summer.

"Welcome home, Hermione," I recognized that voice from anywhere. "Harry," I whispered, I kept my eyes closed, I was worried that if I opened them I would find that he was gone, that he had fallen among the others.

But I felt him come over and hug me, I felt his breathe against my neck and the tears that fell from him cheeks. I dropped my bags and hugged him back, And I laughed, for the first time in months, I laughed. I'm not exactly sure what I was laughing at, but the smile crept over my face and the laugh escaped my mouth. Maybe I was laughing at the fact that I was hugging the one person who I was worried was gone, or maybe it was that I was finally home and everyone seemed so happy to see me. Nonetheless, I laughed and it felt good.

I opened my eyes and put him at arms length, laughing harder. A smile was plastered on his face and he laughed with me. We both stood there laughing as the cool air from outside bustled my hair and the tears still fell from his eyes.

I skipped dinner, it was another excuse for me not to hear what I was dreading. I looked away at the stack of Daily Prophets sitting on a chair in the kitchen. I wasn't ready, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be. Ron tried to get me to eat. He frowned and pleaded with me to just take a biscuit and sit with the family, but I refused. I just insisted that I had a big breakfast and that I still had some stuff to unpack in my room.

I walked the slowest I had ever walked up the steps leading to my bedroom. Or should I say Bill's old bedroom. My bags had already made their journey up the stairs and were lying there on my bed waiting to be unpacked.

The air became mustier as I walked the third flight of steps, the last I need to climb to find my bedroom. I opened the door and squinted at the sunlight pouring in from the large window across the room. I walked past my bed, my drawers and sat on the dusty couch lying under the window and looked out at the distance, pushing my vision to see the visual unknown.

I put my head in my hands and sighed, enjoying the silence that I desperately needed. I quickly tried to push the thoughts that continued to rush into my mind. Questions that had been left unanswered, peoples faces that I had not seen for months.

I opened the window and let the breeze flow in and take the dusty remains of the room. I breathed in the clean air and smiled at the feeling of the cool air on my face. It was refreshing, something that was new, something that lived and disappeared.

A faint knocking came from the closed door across the room. I managed to spit out a slight grunt and then softly said come in.

The door opened and reveled a pale Ron carrying a tray of food, two plates, two glasses, and two helpings. He smiled and closed the door, "You didn't eat breakfast did you?"

"No," I said smiling back. He knew me so well, and for the first time I was happy that he paid more attention to me than himself.

He moved across the room, setting the tray on the couch and sat down. He poured out some milk into the two glasses and handed me a fork and knife. "I managed to get mum to make you and me a plate, she is worried about you."

I just nodded in response. I put the knife and fork down and picked up the still warm biscuit on the corner of the tray. Ron watched me eat it, carefully analyzing my chews, making sure that I was actually eating it and not just saving it to spit out later.

I swallowed and looked at him, his eyes still had the same sparkle that was there when we had met, that fateful day seven years prior. He seemed satisfied and picked up his own knife and fork and began cutting up his chicken.

"I know what you are feeling," He said in between chews, "We all do."

"Oh yeah, what exactly is that Ron?" I said, he hadn't left for two months cutting off every connection he had to the world he belonged to and then suddenly became thrown back in, not knowing anything about the events you missed, the deaths you did not witness.

"Pain, uncertainty, we all have questions, Hermione, and none of them have been answered."

"So no one has died? Nothing has happened? Bloody hell Ron, don't you dare keep everything from me!" I could feel it, the heat was rising in my cheeks, I dropped the biscuit and folded my arms over my chest. But he just kept chewing.

"I'm not." He put his knife and fork down and looked out the window before he looked back at me, "People have died, people we know, places we used to visit are now considered ruins. Hermione I'm not keeping anything from you,"

I just sat there, my arms had fallen from my chest and I could feel the first tears fall from my eye. _It was all true, everything I dreaded, everything I had nightmares about, it all came true._

"Hermione . . . " Ron took my hand and wiped a tear from my cheek, "There is nothing we can do, we don't know what to say, so we don't. Things have gone unsaid,"

"Is this what we are resorting to? Silence?" All I could think about was everything I need to say, everything that needed to be out in the open, before the worst happened.

"Yes, and I want it to stop. Hermione, things can not go unspoken."

And something that ironically took no words at all, touched my lips. And everything around me seemed to disappear. At least for that moment.


End file.
